Thai massage with....

Hilarious taxi ride

Got airport shuttle to airport after farewell wander around Banglhamphu this morning - tomorrow is holiday here - Songkran festival (big party with large water pistols and fireworks) which with my usual capacity for planning we are missing as we fly to Cambodia! Didn't know what effect holiday would have on traffic and airport shuttles so we are in airport hotel for the night!

Then got taxi from airport to airport hotel - whatever our taxi driver had taken could I have some please - he was the happiest driver I have ever met ....... Although after a few minutes I decided it was quite a dirty laugh..,, then I tuned in to the conversation a bit more and he was talking to Martyn (in front seat) about Thailands greatest export - the women that old English men like. Martyn was being his best polite Englishman at this point.

Taxi driver then started to talk to Martyn about Thai massage. Martyn faded out for a bit I think because he missed out completely on the 'Thai massage with sex' offer that came next and was quite shocked when the taxi driver handed him a laminated plastic sheet of a poster advertising all the girls who would offer 'Thai massage with sex'.

Martyn tried valiantly to explain that as his wife I may have some issues with him taking the driver up on his offer. Didn't seem to bother the driver at all!

I confess that I was not much help at all to my by now somewhat flustered husband - too busy having hysterics in the back of the cab!!!!

Martyn makes a new friend

Her name is Bettina. She is dark haired with beautiful deep brown eyes and a gorgeous smile and spoke French fluently. She is three. Martyn was very pleased his school book fresh could manage conversation with Bettina. Well he was at the start of their relationship. Towards the end of the 4 hours it took us to get back to Bangkok I think he was rather glad he had his iPod!

After a peaceful night on our floating hotel (once earplugs had been inserted to block out sound of locals playing snooker outside our room - do you have any idea how annoying the clacking of snooker balls can be??) we went for our bamboo rafting and elephant riding experience which was okay but was made much better by the fact that we had already met Bettina by then and these two activities were much improved when viewed through the eyes of a three yr old!

For the grown ups there was the Hellfire Pass memorial museum and walk which was much much better than Kanchanaburi in terms of information and remembrance. The things human beings can do to each other..........

And then back to Bangkok for our last night in the centre. It was on the way back that we were reminded of something from our student days..... Whilst I am still not keen on mango we do quite like instant noodles occasionally - they're good because they're fast! Having overcome the culture shock I think we might quite miss this crazy place but ho hum, on to Cambodia!!

Sometimes

You have to laugh.....and sometimes you laugh so much it hurts!

Forgot to mention the German tourists on their way for a swim in the waterfall earlier - looking lovely in their too small speedos!!

But the reason for our current hilarity.....sat on plastic stool eating dinner at wooden trestle table watching sun set over river Kwai. Listening to Celine Dion on their tv (very loud), admiring pretty colour from glitter ball (not kidding) and what is she singing as we sit on our floating hotel - you guessed it - the theme to Titanic !!!!!!

I have a stitch from laughing so much ! Please stop - it hurts!!!!

Hmmmm we appear to be listing

But only really excessively in the bathroom of our ensuite in our floating hotel! And you can see the quite fast flowing river from between the floorboards (well the ones not covered in Lino anyway). Quite surreal illusion of movement as you attempt to compensate for the distinctly left hand sloping toilet. One of lifes important experiences I think :)
So today saw another 6am start and we headed off to Kanchanaburi home of the Bridge Over the River Kwai. True story not quite as the film and no David Niven either just lots of tourists and Market stalls, oh and the bridge. Found a museum which gave a bit of insight and you can't complain for £1 entry really!
Suffice it to say we have been to quite a number of war memorials, cemeteries and war museums on our various travels. Peace, tranquility and remembrance usually pervade, with historical information if desired. Kanchanburi is not especially peaceful or tranquil - the firecrackers and backfiring engines from the garage next door to the war cemetery didn't really help.

Did enjoy the train ride along the "death railway" as the views were very nice. Somehow it seems very wrong though to have turned such a thing into a tourist attraction. We did our best to ignore the scantily clad loud American teenage girls behind us and paused to remember how the railway came to be in existence in the first place.
Then off to lunch and to view a waterfall before tootling down to the most peaceful place we have found so far on our travels around Bangkok. Our little floating hotel. Nothing but us, ten other guests, two long boats, a few bamboo rafts and the sound of the raindrops (yes, classic rainy season downpour at 4pm for half an hour has cleared the air a bit) oh and a crocodile!

Some things are the same the world over though - Sunday afternoon is obviously sports watching time , at home it would be grand prix or something, here all the blokes avidly watching Thai boxing!
Happy Mothers Day by the way, to all mothers reading our blog but especially to our mums - hope the presents arrived and have a lovely day.

That's odd - someone has a radio playing here and the overture from Carmen is playing - now where have I heard that before?!

Well I'm off - postcards to write and I need to make sure Martyn doesn't drown himself - I've just looked round and he's leaning upside down over a barrier trying to take a photo.

(worth it I think -m.)

More tomorrow - if the anchor holds!!!

And the sweat bath begins

Now thats more like it! Lie still, feel damp, move, sweat. Not actually that hot - yet but humidity has arrived. Yum. Not quite at the 'wet n dryin' it clothes stage but working up to it for Cambodia we think.

Sun came out when we were at Ayutthaya yesterday - gotta laugh, we'd been commenting on how cold it was and then when the sun came out we headed for the shade of the railway station. Lovely train journey back to Bangkok though - saw a bit more of the Thailand I had imagined and FINALLY managed a successful train journey having missed out on two in NZ. Hurrah.

Had to walk for an hour to get back to hostel from train station. We were dripping wet by then so resorted to air conditioner in room for 20mins and a shower. After 20 mins of A/C I had goose bumps so we had to turn it off again!
Unfortunately whilst in Ayutthaya the mozzies found us again - our hostel had a fish pond and they got us there. I have three bites around my left ankle. At least I think its where my ankle is - having been on feet all day ankle bone has disappeared in puffy mass. Very pretty! Needless to say Martyn is now being organised and hunting for our DEET - its time!

Today was another busy day - up at 8am and off to Dusit Park to see the worlds largest teak building - Vimnamek Palace - sort of the Royal families summer residence. Very proudly displaying china from Denmark, Italy and England, grand piano from England, glass from Italy, more china from China and stuffed turtles from Phuket.

It took us 1.5 hours to walk to Duset so we looked really good when we got there. Not at all sweaty, just cool calm and collected (yeah right). Found cafe and downed ice cold drink each - much relief.

After palace walked (are we mad) to sky train station - another 30 mins ish so again we looked really good when we hit the nice air conditioned train. It was quite full and unfortunately for everyone else all the hand holds required that we raise our arms to hold on. I don't think the locals here have sweat glands. Martyn and I were making up for all of them!
And we were off to Chatuchak market - MASSIVE market selling everything from.....well no just pretty much everything actually! Nearly came away with about 25 puppies a) because they were so cute b) because some of them did not look weened yet and c) because it just seemed wrong them being there. Resisted puppies and were quite tempted by the knock-off jeans and shoes but still have 'x' weeks to go and not carrying anymore in this heat. Decided the huge paintings might result in excess baggage fee and that we really didn't need 25 silk elephant key rings, Thailand pencils or plastic flowers. Bought lunch instead. At least you now know what you are not getting as presents when we come back!!

Ankle had gone all puffy by this point so got Tuk Tuk back to hostel. Who needs the adrenalin thrill Queenstown when for two pounds fifty you can hurtle through streets with cars coming at you in the opposite direction. Martyn assures me we didn't go more than 40 but he hasn't qualified a unit km/h, mph or metres per second.......he did comment that he feels he has now fully lived through the arcade game 'Need for Speed'.......personally I do not think there is any 'need' for it at all. Ah well, had a lovely conversation with a chap at lunchtime who said roads in Vietnam are way worse than here. Oh joy, its good to have things to look forward to in life....

Hello Postcard

But Martyn wanted to call  todays blog

'This must be where the monks go to get ummmm monked'

 - not my fault, I didn't know if monks were ordained like priests or if there was some other ceremony......next sign I read said 'ordination hall' not fair as Martyn was trying to pick himself up off the floor from laughter by that point.

Anyway, long day. Up at 6am. Had read that if you got up early then you could watch the monks collect their alms. Didn't think it was likely I'd get to see that but I did see three monks whom we decided had probably had a lie in and were consequently a bit late. Bus at 7 up to Ayutthaya, back in time 3 - 400 years to the old capital of Thailand. Haven't got time to go up to Sukkothai which is even older and the first 'capital' so we'll have to come back.

We think we managed 5 temples and palace plus another three temples in the evening on a boat trip but to be perfectly honest we lost count. They were all slightly different though. We are now experts in the different 'tops' they put on......Sri Lankan style is all circles, Thai style looks like a corn cob (but we are a bit confused as to how similar this is to Cambodian and think there might have been some kind of tour guide translation issue) and Burmese style is the other one (but its hard to describe).

We think we've been toWat Phra Si Sanphet; Wihan Phra Mongkhon Bophit; Wat Phra Maha That; Wat Chai Wattanaram; Chinese Temple; Wat Phra Ram; Wat Phutthaisawan and another one with a big Buddha in it but we can't find it in the book!

Have seen Buddha in all four positions - walking, sitting, reclining and standing and am now beginning to be able to remember what the different hand positions mean.

Martyn says its amazing that 450 years ago whilst the brick work was a bit dodgy (not enough mortar) the rendering was really very good! They could also have done with an improved understanding of foundations as many bits were sinking.

Still, this was very good practice for Angkor Wat and it was good to find another place that had been ransacked and burnt down etc that we hadn't had anything to do with! Ayutthaya apparently means 'undefeated' which was a good name until the Burmese won one.

Got hassled a bit by kids at entrance to one temple. Guess what they were saying ....... ' hello postcard' Always feel more guilty saying no to the little people, still we resisted. Probably is postcard time again though!

Dinner at night market - yummy.

Slow day today - 10am and still not left - ah well, internet here is free and the fastest since we left home so we've done some more photos etc and sorted out some other bits. Had plans to go to museum and a few more temples but to be honest yesterday was enough and after counting out the Baht we're on for another walking day!!

So off we go.... tootling down to train station to get back to Bangkok with the locals. 200Baht for air conditioned bus, 15 Baht for train (about 30p) for a two hour journey - come on British Rail watcha playing at???!!!! Of course that assumes we make it to the train station - have counted, we have to get across three roads.......yesterdays road crossing was the most interesting yet as we stood in the middle of the zebra crossing with a bus and a scooter going behind us and a scooter and a car going in front of us - who needs theme park adrenalin rides???

Martyn is looking forward to the train but is a bit gutted he doesn't get to go on his 'Chav Bus' - saw it in petrol station yesterday, double decker bus with low rider suspension, custom paint job, spoilers, grill at back showing the engine (which I think may be a more practical cooling option but Martyn is convinced is just chav) and a really kicking sub and stereo which the driver left on all the way through the stop at the petrol station and it was still on when they drove off. I personally am glad I'm not going on it - using my ear plugs on a bus would be a bit much really!

ooopsie

Have just re-read yesterdays blog. I think I need to employ a better proof reader!

City of Angles no - City of AngELs - yes.....sorry about that.

I don't know, what is the world coming to - power of ten error, transposing of letters....anyone would think I was on holiday.

Martyn and I have just had a huge debate about where to put the apostrophe in our picture tagging. We couldn't agree so have left them all out. Ha Ha.